Just an update since last update

Move house

Although by end of last year we had not really planned to move in to The House this soon, God knows how pregnancy can change alot of decisions suddenly. While we were too in love with our small rented studio somewhere in the foresty Sg Penchala where rhe sound of small waterfall and streams and jungle creatures is your daily background music, we have come to realization that we need a bigger space for the baby’s arrival. We moved into The House just 2 weeks ago after Az’s tenant moved out. Well, The House is the apartment unit in Bandar Tasik Selatan – if anyone recall from my oldies story – which happened to be the epic keyword Az used to Google a couple of years back when he ended up finding my blog. I can feel the sensual feeling when entering The House – if it’s not because Az bought this house (and for some reason had to Google it to find sensible rental), we wouldn’t have met each other in the first place. And now we officially live here.

Housekeeping and stuffing

Added furniture and adding more slowly whenever necessary. No internet yet. Guest room is ready so we’re opening it for CouchSurfing now, yeay.

Brunei

Ironically Az had to do the moving alone (sorry!) thanks to last minute change of moving date overlapped with our planned trip with my family to Brunei. My parents and sisters were too hopeless to visit somwhere without a tour package and I had to go along with them while Az cancelled his. Nothing much to say about Brunei when main agenda was actually my mum reuniting with her schoolmates and last minute getaway to Miri and Labuan also.

Baby

It was during the long weekend of CNY when I started – literally – feeling the butterfly in my belly. Now I’m having a moving creature inside! It’s spooky and funny at the same time. Gender is unknown still.

Move job

Yet another sudden change. I was planning to switch job sometime middle of this year but turned out had to do it real sooner, suddenly must go to interview and had to get a new job whatever it takes ASAP before my belly is showing! LOL if you know what I mean. Otherwise I’ll have to get stuck to this getting-sappier workplace until after delivery. So new place will start in March! Oh yeah, and Az has also got a new job apparently near to the house, perfect.

Cambodia-Thailand-Laos trip

Which has now been cut short to weekend getaway to Phnom Penh only. I’m rather sad about it as I dont know what to see in only Phnom Penh. All the travel itinerary of taking bus to Siem Reap and crossing border all the way to Bangkok, stopping by to see Ayutthaya and stretching the journey by long train to Vientiane, has officially gone into trash. Anyway, seeing it at a bright side, the trip plan was too crammed anyway to enjoy each and every place, and we wouldnt have time to see Luang Prabang. As people in LP forum answered to my post, the Angkor has existed for thousands years already, it’ll still be there in a couple more years, when the baby is out and big enough to enjoy the elephants. All I need is a little patience in this period of time.

The Chronicles of: Pregnant-Or-Not?

So I am.

Pregnant of 6 weeks. Or so the doc said. Alhamdulillah.

This is still surreal and weird to me. I am adjusting.

Thankfully I can eat as usual. No such thing as nausea and vomitting yet, but you’ll never know.

The parents are in pure joy right now – the baby is going to be the first grandchild to both families. I am happy that he/she will be that special and much-awaited. Although, having no cousin will make him/her a little friendless. Perhaps just like his/her mummy. (wow, refering self as mummy is even weirder. Bear with me).

Not announcing to public yet, as according to some website, it’s safe to wait until *I forgot when* you can annouce the pregnancy. Before that, I probably have to change my attitude a little towards babies, and towards people who post baby pictures on Facebook. Hm, probably posting baby pictures are still fine than baby picture as profile pic. Let’s see if I end up doing that also.. :-P

Pregnant or not?

This post falls under category that I may be deleting after a while. It’s meant to be private but I just need to ramble around coz I’m in a complicated mood, it’s either in denial or confused. I’m late by 5 days and started to think too much. Look, it’s not that I dont want to get pregnant, it’s just a little fear that I couldnt be a good mother. At least not now and in near future. Yet I’m in between expectation by the parents (and Az too) and my own life. I dont want to sound selfish and I have no rights to say “please wait” to anything given by God – if He even wants to *still* give me anything. Then again, I know if I dont let myself ready, then I never will. Something will need to force me naturally. Probably by falling pregnant without any hope – nor refusal – will be the solution.

It was just before the China trip that I felt tired and bored with job and I dont know how those managed to change my policy from not-ready to neutral. Even all throughout the trip we were having this kind of fun joke, if baby conceived in Kashgar, we would name him/her Idka, after the Id Kah mosque :P or maybe Eden, after the hotel name we stayed in first day. ¬†And the jokes continued when we were stranded in a sappy and old Traffic Hotel in Kuqa and we were in dilemma for not wanting to name the baby “Traffic” – that will be terrible! =.=

Jokes aside, and it’s been half a year since myself being neutral, and since I didnt get pregnant after China trip (no Made-in-China baby, unfortunately) we didnt talk about it anymore. Until a few days ago. Az has been excited but I’m still in a weird feeling. I ran into Google to search any info to see if I’m possibly pregnant, and to my surprise, lots of sites can actually calculate when the baby is due – 4 July 2013! And my next search immediately after that “How to travel with infant of 2 months”, for we already have a plan in September. We’ll, if the pregnancy really happens.

This morning I did my first test at home, and instead of giving an answer, the cheap test strip gave almost invisible, light colored line. So until we really make a visit to clinic, I’m still left with questions…..