Let me tell you one of the proofs that my mind isn’t working properly these days.
After a few private messages back and forth with a few online sellers at LYN forum, today I found a rather good deal of Lumix TZ10 model, and even better, he got one in stock with brown color. So I was confident that I’m getting it, despite I didnt aim for TZ10 before this as it was the most expensive currently among the TZ series and I dont actually need the GPS function. But anyways. And my serviced apartment business is getting well lately and I’ve actually gained some good bucks with customers I got from my website whom I outsourced to some other apartment owners. I mean, apart the amount deserved by my mum as the owner of ours, the rest is totally my wages! :D So that’s the reason I feel the itch to get a rather neat camera now, especially I want to declare it as a gift upon finishing my master’s project ^_^ (or maybe, it’s our (me and Az) gift to ourselves.. as he apparently wants to pay half for it :P)
Okay the thing I meant to tell you was, this seller didnt provide delivery by mail, so I was thinking to ask Az to pick up the camera at his shop in KL. And when I was replying his msg, I wrote “Okay, after I do payment I will ask my bf to collect the camera as I’m in Penang.” and I paused, thinking should just I write friend instead of boyfriend in this message? Nah, he’s my boyfriend lah so I’d just write bf ^_^ and sent the message, got reply from the seller that I need to describe my bf when he comes to collect so that he wont pass the camera to a wrong person, etc etc.
And I called Az happily telling that I was determined to buy the camera now, and I told the same thing I wrote to the seller.. “I informed the seller that I’d ask my boyfriend to collect the camera, bla, bla, bla.. so you can go sg wang or not?, bla, bla..”
Okay, and 4-5 hours passed, and only just now I realized.
OMG, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my fiance T_T
OMG OMG. I have a fiance, why I forgot one? Adoi..
I cant even be sure that for these few hours I’ve forgotten the fact that Az has been my fiance since almost two months.. maybe I have always forgotten it all times!! >.< except only when I was reminded in a way or another during our phone conversation, or the wedding stuff my mum has been talking to me, etc etc, but I have to admit that it’s not firmly registered in my mind yet, the fact that I’m engaged to Az. Does this happen to other people too?
Is this a crime, this silly forgetness? And does it actually matter? Maybe not much, but suddenly I cant help but feel bad, for forgetting such simple thing yet BIG fact, especially I know that Az likes to mention every now and then, addressing me as his fiance.
Or maybe I’m just too overloaded with Fuzzy readings and writing right now so I myself have been fuzzified with transition of having a boyfriend and having a fiance. (though when I think again, it was also fuzzy during transition of friend and boyfriend before, no?).
I do feel sorry, to anyone who has a fiance like me.. and to Az, I’m so sorry and it wasnt intended but you have to face the fact that you have a forgetful fiance. I just hope that it wont happen in future that I would forget that I have a husband.. heh. Otherwise it would be really weird, I guess.