A Minute Without You

Coz when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There’s one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day

Hanson

Forgetting fiance?

Let me tell you one of the proofs that my mind isn’t working properly these days.

After a few private messages back and forth with a few online sellers at LYN forum, today I found a rather good deal of Lumix TZ10 model, and even better, he got one in stock with brown color. So I was confident that I’m getting it, despite I didnt aim for TZ10 before this as it was the most expensive currently among the TZ series and I dont actually need the GPS function. But anyways. And my serviced apartment business is getting well lately and I’ve actually gained some good bucks with customers I got from my website whom I outsourced to some other apartment owners. I mean, apart the amount deserved by my mum as the owner of ours, the rest is totally my wages! :D So that’s the reason I feel the itch to get a rather neat camera now, especially I want to declare it as a gift upon finishing my master’s project ^_^ (or maybe, it’s our (me and Az) gift to ourselves.. as he apparently wants to pay half for it :P)

Okay the thing I meant to tell you was, this seller didnt provide delivery by mail, so I was thinking to ask Az to pick up the camera at his shop in KL. And when I was replying his msg, I wrote “Okay, after I do payment I will ask my bf to collect the camera as I’m in Penang.” and I paused, thinking should just I write friend instead of boyfriend in this message? Nah, he’s my boyfriend lah so I’d just write bf ^_^ and sent the message, got reply from the seller that I need to describe my bf when he comes to collect so that he wont pass the camera to a wrong person, etc etc.

And I called Az happily telling that I was determined to buy the camera now, and I told the same thing I wrote to the seller.. “I informed the seller that I’d ask my boyfriend to collect the camera, bla, bla, bla.. so you can go sg wang or not?, bla, bla..”

Okay, and 4-5 hours passed, and only just now I realized.

OMG, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my fiance T_T

OMG OMG. I have a fiance, why I forgot one? Adoi..

I cant even be sure that for these few hours I’ve forgotten the fact that Az has been my fiance since almost two months.. maybe I  have always forgotten it all times!! >.< except only when I was reminded in a way or another during our phone conversation, or the wedding stuff my mum has been talking to me, etc etc, but I have to admit that it’s not firmly registered in my mind yet, the fact that I’m engaged to Az. Does this happen to other people too?

Is this a crime, this silly forgetness? And does it actually matter? Maybe not much, but suddenly I cant help but feel bad, for forgetting such simple thing yet BIG fact, especially I know that Az likes to mention every now and then, addressing me as his fiance.

Or maybe I’m just too overloaded with Fuzzy readings and writing right now so I myself have been fuzzified with transition of having a boyfriend and having a fiance. (though when I think again, it was also fuzzy during transition of friend and boyfriend before, no?).

I do feel sorry, to anyone who has a fiance like me.. and to Az, I’m so sorry and it wasnt intended but you have to face the fact that you have a forgetful fiance. I just hope that it wont happen in future that I would forget that I have a husband.. heh. Otherwise it would be really weird, I guess.

161009 Love Story: How it all started..

This post was meant to be posted yesterday, but I simply forgot =.=

A few weeks ago, I was anticipating yesterday so much, and wanted to make a dedicated post for this date, 16 October, for some reason that you may or may not be aware of.

Yesterday completed one whole year since Az came into my life.

I really dont know where to start. This one magical year, which has so quickly passed, but at the same time, it feels as if it was a very long, long year, looking back how far we have gone.

I could say, this accidental and unexpected meeting, which one can see it too ridiculous to just be a coincidence, therefore I chose to see it as a destiny, it’s really meant to be this way, God has answered my prayers at right time my life was in a deepshit, and brought him to me almost just instantly. A savior.

Through Google :P

Yup, this wouldnt have happened without Google. Yeah, big credit to Google that he found my WordPress.com blog, and we’re now a happy engaged couple.

Now let me tell you the story of how Az found his fiancé through Google :P

***** Insert a background instrumental music here ********

One evening on 16th October 2009, there’s a guy on his PC, browsing Google for a certain keyword: Tasik Heights Apartment for rent. Just that.

And he was randomly clicking through some results he got on the first page.

It was when he arrived to this blog post entitled “Tasik Heights Apartment?” dated back in 2008, written by a girl before her moving to the apartment when starting her job in KL.

The guy, assuming that the blog owner was still living in the apartment, decided to ask her regarding the rental, though he somehow didnt leave the comment at the right post, but rather, the latest post of the blog at that particular time.

The blog post doesnt sound so right, no? The girl was hardly updating her blog in those days. She was suffering from big depression thanks to sudden realization that her decision of coming to USM doing Master’s might be a wrong idea when she was failing two Analog tests in a row, but that’s not actually the main reason of the depression. It was more because she was having the biggest argument with the ex-bf, whom she had wanted to stay friends with, which turned out to be even the worst decision she had ever made in her life. Even writing blog didnt help, knowing that her readers and family might not like the idea she was still in contact with the ex after a year of leaving him, so she chose to keep it secret. The most bitter secret she had to keep in her throat. And she totally had nobody else to turn to.

Except maybe, God.

She was praying harder than she had ever done in her life. It’s ironic that maybe you get the closest to Him when you’re saddest and lowest and suicidal, so desperately to ask Him to wipe away the sadness from you. It was when she knows that her Creator really listens to her little voice when nobody else would. It was when the miracle happened.

God sent the savior directly to the girl’s blog. In the form of a clueless guy asking sensible rental of an apartment. Yes, it doesnt sound relevant: from apartment rental, to saving someone from depression, to love. But it simply happened that way. Believe me.

The girl, woke up in the morning and after a great prayer, opened her laptop checking email, and suddenly the blog comment notification made her smile. Which she didnt know how and why, but she just felt a happy itch. It was not the first time she received questions regarding the apartment anyway, as if she was still living there. As if she had a room for rent =.=  But she decided to kindly reply the comment by email.

And the guy, instead of accepting the fact that he wouldnt get the answer for the apartment question and leave, still somehow, unexpectedly, replied back the girl’s email.

See.. siap kasi FB profile link :P And by this time the girl had a sudden feeling that this funny guy apparently has a few things in common with her, and at least he could be someone she can communicate, for whatever matter. So she replied again, and added him to FB friend as courtesy.

And  there came the first FB message from the guy upon approving the FB friendship. The magical message you could call the savior of the girl’s depression to instantly be wiped away. I mean, seriously!

Now, do you sense any love to grow shortly afterwards? And, is it possible for the girl not to fall in love at first message, especially at the point of time she needed a cheer so much?

The guy might still be an unknown stranger to her by this stage, but whether you believe it or not, she did fall in love.

Instantly.

And that’s how it all started.

:)

P.S. to Az, I just feel the right to share these conversations today, after a year it happened. Hope you dont mind ;P

..This story post may be continued, and may be not.

Malay Engagement

I’m making this post for my friends outside Malaysia who might be clueless of the photos I put in last post regarding our engagement ceremony.

First off, the Malay engagement is more a family event than just a marriage proposal. Az’s family came all the way from their hometown for this purpose, bringing a number of gifts called hantaran. They are usually sweets like chocolate and cakes, fruits, clothings, accessories, as well as the engagement rings, all decorated prettily in a container. I dont know why this custom exists but it’s been around as long as I can remember. I’m personally thinking those are unnecessary, but since the family seem to ‘take over’ our engagement, therefore we just have to follow what they prepare for us =_=

And the ceremony usually begins with discussion among the parents or family representative, regarding the fact that their son & daughter are now engaged, followed by discussion of when and how the marriage (wedding!) will be held. So theoretically, they have come up with a date (or at least, month) but in between workloads of my master’s project right now I’m still in denial about it =.=; fearing that the expectations will turn from happy to nightmare, if I cant seem to get my Master’s done on time. Yep, we do agree that this came in a very wrong time. But as how I met Az, everything has always been unexpected, surprising, totally out of the blue! I really dont know, whether I’m so much ready for all these, then again I realized that it’s not important to think about that anymore as long as I’m happy.

After the discussion, there comes the time I received the engagement ring from Az’s mother.

Yes, it’s the mother who gives me the ring. Not him.

And same goes to Az, he received the engagement ring from my father.

And after that, the photography sessions, though mostly among the bunch of the family members. And then comes the food :)

Now you might be wondering, where’s the time of him proposing to me? Isn’t engagement is when a guy proposes to his girl? Yup, it’s practiced, but I guess it’s optional here since the family may be the first to suggest that their kids should be engaged. And even if a guy proposes to a girl beforehand, this kind of famiy-ish engagement ceremony will instantly come later.

So by the time this event ended, he still owed me the “typical” proposal. Of course, there have been talks regarding marriage plan and he wants to marry me and blablabla but I was expecting a proper romantic proposal like you see in movies!!!!!! ^_^

And during our quick escape to town after the family event ended, before I dropped him to car, and even though it was (again) unexpected, he did it. Proposed to me :)